Surfloin

hand plane

2009-10-28T22:02:00.000-07:00

I quit

2009-08-03T20:04:00.000-07:00

whales suck and so does surfing

So, there was this rock in the way...

2009-05-04T19:06:00.000-07:00

I wasn't going surfing, but I would have rather been, and this is what I would have done. (maybe a little more successfully if for the surf)

100ft wave!!!!

2009-04-01T09:26:00.000-07:00

Whoa... I was checkin' out the surf world this morning and found this on Surfermag.com . Rusty Long and Grant "Twiggy" Baker in Chile. Impressive. Wait .... is this Apil Fool's ???

All Good in the Hood

2009-03-19T15:23:00.000-07:00

So, I moved on out to Hood River, OR, just like Portland, but a little colder, a little closer to Mt. Hood, and an extra hour farther from the beach.
Wah Wah. Whatever, I am digging this place. Not to mention the epic road trip that eased the transition. We ventured through SLC, to see the Bird, Zion, Vegas, San Diego, for lil bro heem, and up the most amazing coast west of the Mississippi. I got to surf a cliff side beach I've been waiting to get on for a year, although it was about knee high. Then, headed up past Rincon, and made our way up to Big Sur, Santa Cruz, got the all important Golden Gate Bridge shot, and headed back up to the Red Woods and home. Damn that was fast.

Is Anyone out There???

2009-02-16T20:58:00.000-08:00

I am pretty sure I am the only one conceited enough to write a blog completely for myself. I say that because, well, I am pretty sure I am the only one who reads it. Also, I check other blogs from my links in case anyone tracks where their viewers come from. (Not sure if that's possible).At least I am pretending people look. Finally, if I did have any "followers" they would surely have run off by now, since I haven't posted a thing in about three weeks.

Since this seems to be the case, this one goes out to ME.

I am going surfing tomorrow. I have to get my fix before I head off to Hood River.
As if living inland isn't bad enough; I am moving another hour East. I am doing this by choice because the ocean is a disgusting mess that needs to be drained. Who am I kidding.

five five

2009-01-27T20:31:00.000-08:00

5'5'' x 19 1/4 Redux
- awesome...if you know and like other lost movies you'll appreciate this one. No hi-def here just smoke and beers...and some really impressive surfing. Ward, Cormican, Mason Ho, and C. Lopez are the stars among others. All the surfing is on sub 6' boards with all sorts of fin configurations w/ out any extra explanation, just experimentation.

Also, one really long wave.

The antithesis of Hydrodynamica ...if that ever comes out.

Cleveland: Why you Should Flock to the City that Rocks

2009-01-08T12:09:00.000-08:00

Okay, so it's been a while, but I do have the latest Surfloin travel tip for you.

I went home for the holidays as many do, but while I was home I got to thinking that maybe home isn't so bad. Many of us privileged people who get to live in the Pacific Northwest think the rest of the country is for the pee-ons, but the truth is a lot of people who stick it out have just as much as we have here. What do they have, you might ask? Well, what they have are lifelong friends and a culture that they have an ability to mold themselves. They also have their natural resources, which are often untapped for the enjoyment that many of us search for. Waves? Snow? Look no further than Northeast Ohio.

First of all, there is plenty of snow in the Midwest, and if the natural stuff doesn't suffice they are experts on creating the fake stuff. No, there isn't usually a lot of vertical, but what lacks can be made up in cheap booze and icy terrain parks. The friendly locals have also been known to take adventurous tourists on some heart-pounding, country rally rides in between epic sessions. Need proof checkout www.snowtrails.com . There are other options out there, but like their slogan, Snow Trails is "Ohio's First and Finest".

Then, you have yourself some of the best lake surfing in the world. (There are only so many surfable lakes out there.) Nonetheless, Lake Erie does produce surfable waves year round (minus January and February when the lake is frozen over), and it isn't just a novelty for the locals. I have personally experienced some shoulder-high thumpers that rival some average days in the PNW, even better than average, now that I think about it. Check out www.wagnersurfclub.com . It rivals that Oregon surfing forum, and even has an eighteen and over entrance agreement. GRITTY.
Just like here in Oregon, you get skunked while driving hours on end trying to find the right set-up, while the swell passes you by. But from time to time you score the day that you thought never existed. Obviously, you continue to think that day is going to return each and every time you head out the door, and it doesn't, but you try anyway.

Your home is what you make of it. Sometimes people get lucky and sometimes you have to make your own luck. In the worn-out steel belt you have to do-it-yourself, and and when you do, the reward speaks for itself.

Am I moving back? Nah..., but it wouldn't be the end of the world.

Need more? Check- out http://www.raysmtb.com/ ... the coolest indoor Mountain Biking Park ever.

35 Knot Onshores blew me straight to Mt. Hood

2008-12-18T13:49:00.000-08:00

It has been wet, cold, and white up here the last week and a half, and that has facilitated some high shredibility on Mt. Hood. Yesterday was the first day of the season for me at the mountain. It wasn't all time, but a pleaser none the less. The conditions equalled white on white with high speed NW winds. Just one main lift running, but we utilized the available runs to the max with tree runs, plenty of mini-shredding, and a couple park runs. It snowed 22" in the last 24 hours by the way.

God damnit... to surf or snowboard? I hate this place!

Photo: "A Jersey A$$hole leading the way"
- not Mt. Hood

The Amazing Internet

2008-12-11T15:28:00.000-08:00

WARd STORIES - LOST ACROSS AMERICA VOL 3
Every now and then you may find something on the internet that you haven't seen before. At times I feel as though I have been to the end and back. Then, by a gift from God /internet, you find something like this. Sometimes we all need to reaffirm our beliefs. The internet holds supreme power.

Also, another clip. I am guessing this will be the best movie I will have seen in a long while. One of the first movies I liked when I started surfing was a ...Lost Across America video. Hopefully,
5'5" x 19"1/4 Redux matches up. Although, I am hoping for less Sublime, Buzzcocks, and Circle Jerks this time around. Sorry, but enough is enough.

NELSCOTT REEF 08'

2008-12-01T20:35:00.001-08:00

I went to the Big show yesterday. It was huge. I saw some of the biggest waves I have ever seen. Unfortunately, my tow partner was droppin' in on some bombs at Mavericks and couldn't make the trip...
Fortunately, the conditions were perfect up here, and the contest venue has some great vantage points to check out the surf. It was interesting to see the effect of some really long period swell, 14 ft. at 20 seconds. We are normally accustomed to 14 ft. at 12 seconds, which is not very impressive. I am not sure who won or who was even surfing at any given point, but the whole spectacle was pretty damn cool.

The Dreaded Report

2008-11-29T10:03:00.000-08:00

Yeah,
first session wasn't as good as last time, but the second was unreal. It started pumping and the wind was howling offshore. The **** was tubing heavy, not that I got a tube but I saw a few tube rides paddling back out. $$$$# break was going off too. All the point dudes brought it in from the point cause it seemed too heavy and they started demolishing $$$$# break. I took some serious beatings in the **** and probably did about 15 laps without waves, but I still caught a few mind benders.

GUY

*Not the report you want to hear when you miss a session because of a last minute work obligation.

WHiplash

2008-11-24T19:48:00.000-08:00

We're not talking about my style here, more so, my pain. Friday I could not find a thing to bitch about with the conditions, so I thought I would find something else to complain about.

The waves were just overhead and nearly perfect and they were rights. It seems like I go left far more often than I go right. Judging from pictures and videos I would say Sunset-esque. I could be way off on that, but that's what I imagined. Pretty powerful, but not necessarily hollow. After flying down the line towards the rocks a good dozen times I though I would try an off-the-top, and off the top I went. I fell backwards with a lot of force half way into a back flip I caught my head in the water and torqued my neck back. It felt like my eyes were going to pop and I saw a few stars, but I felt alright soon enough. I paddled back out and got some more.

It wasn't till that night till I felt like my head was going to roll off the back of my neck. I've been doing the robot ever since.

It's not What.T.F. It's Why. T. F.

2008-11-17T21:54:00.001-08:00

I went surfing the other day and it reminded me that this is winter and this is Oregon surfing. I put on a damp, cold wetsuit and second guessed the idea of a solo paddle out in a large, cold, and powerful swell. Once I was out in the water, the current picked me up and dragged me to where I wanted to be. Then, I was about a hundred yards to the north of where I wanted to be. After twenty minutes of paddling I was back where I should have been, and I caught a nice over head wave and kicked out before I thought I would be too far gone. I was too far gone. I Paddled another twenty minutes meeting "Finger", the easy-going, all-is-good kind of guy you need to run into in this type of outting, we managed to drift past the take-off zone and we each caught another. We pretended to have a nice discussion through our hoods about the last waves we caught, but we couldn't hear anything through our hoods. We nodded and caught a few more.

The image is from some notes I took last November. November can get spooky mate.

The Idiot's Guide to Idiot's Surf Repair

2008-11-11T20:41:00.000-08:00

As a new installment to Surfloin, we are (I am) adding the Idiot's Guide To Idiot's Surf Repair. This is going to be a non-comprehensive help manual to one way or another get your dry-locked board back in the water. Forewarning, do not ruin your surfboard like I have.
First off, we have the embedded fin box. What I do in this situation is bring the board to the nearest surf shop. When I get there they direct me to the village idiot. He tells me he's going to have to cut out the fin box and replace it, while telling me his latest Tijuana story. "Oh yeah, It'll be about 4-6 weeks, bro," he says.
I say, "I'll take it home and fix it myself."
I go home try to make sure it is straight, although a quarter inch deeper than normal, and spread a little cloth. I mix up some resin, soak the cloth, and BAM, done. A lot of sanding in this post was skipped because it is boring.

P.S. - My shaper at ditybirdsurf.com does not approve of my methods.

How to deal with the stripped out "grub" screws comes in the next edition of The Idiot's Guide To Surf Repair.

One Track Mind Into a Brick Wall

2008-11-03T20:11:00.000-08:00

I went to see "One Track Mind", the new Woodshed Films movie, the other night. They have also made Shelter, Sprout, and September Sessions, if any of those ring a bell. They tend to be about professional, millionaire surfers who need escape from their everyday turmoil. Exactly. I am not sure what the draw is, but they sure draw a romantic little picture.

Anyway, this new flick is about these pros actually competing and how they keep their competitive edge. What's the drive? Winning, progression, revenge, adultery…whatever.
It is an interesting new direction for the otherwise happy, flip-floppin' film makers. They mixed their style well with black-and-white interview sets up against the progressive surfing taking place by Dane Reynolds, A.I., Kelly, and those other guys. So the movie was well done up to one point. Enter Kolohe Andino.

So, this littler terd burglar comes into the movie talking like he is some equal to these other master thrashers of surfing, while being in no way on par. For the record, I don't only hate him because he's half my age and surfs better than I do. I also hate him because he has been trained and raised by pro surfers since he was nil, but has not proven anything except how to be market worthy to a bunch of surf corporations. He also has a prepubescent mustache captured perfectly in the movie by the well-placed lighting, which tells me he is most definitely a dirt bag. The movie seemed short too.

Your Surfloin Review,

MR.T

The Origins of Surfloin

2008-11-01T16:47:00.000-07:00

I am writing to you after a 36-hour search for something that could be called a wave. After nearly 200 miles of driving I found something close. Close enough, that is. After all was said and done, it was worth it, and I would do it again. I drove through a lot of rain and wind and spent some money on the way, but the end result made it worth it--this time. It doesn't always work out that way, and that makes one real bitter. How I deal with that bitterness is what this blog is all about.

I am just like most Oregon surfers. I have been at it for about five years. I am not actually dedicated enough to live on the Oregon coast. I probably think I know more and surf better than I actually do. I read about how a quad should ride compared with a bonzer but have never ridden a bonzer. I am more into surf culture than I would be if I could actually surf everyday. I am another dime-a-dozen, quintessential Oregon surfer. Oh yeah, I write a blog about it too!

On the other hand, I like thrusters more than anything else. I don't own a longboard. I am from the Midwest. Lastly, I am actually planning on moving farther away from the coast, and I am alright with that because I can bitch about it more.

*Don't expect regular updates, epic surf reports, or much worthwhile in any context.
*Do expect lots of negativity, things other than surfing because there isn't enough of that to go around, and some drunken posts.

Grand entrance coming soon...

2008-10-16T16:37:00.000-07:00